poem - 白鸟之死

白鸟之死

作者: 席慕蓉

　
你若是那含泪的射手
我就是　那一只
决心不再躲闪的白鸟
　
只等那羽箭破空而来
射入我早已碎裂的胸怀
你若是这世间唯一
唯一能伤我的射手
我就是你所有的青春岁月
所有不能忘的欢乐和悲愁
　
就好象是最后的一朵云彩
隐没在那无限澄蓝的天空
那么　让我死在你的手下
就好象是　终于能
死在你的怀中

Poet-Xi Murong

i have been looking for English version of her poems for a while. no much luck.
my favorite poet since 16 years old... remains my favorite until now... her words are simple and clean, and always touch my sadness in a deepest way....i hope i still can feel when read her poems when i become very very old.

the deepest pureness part of my heart, may it never changes.

===


A Blossom Tree
by Xi Murong

How can we chance upon each other
At my most beautiful moment?
For this scene, I've begged Buddha, 500 years non-stopping,
For the fate we can be interweaving.
Buddha hence changes me into a tree,
Standing by a road you'll be passing,
Blossoming, discreetly, under the sun
Every flower is my previous life's yearning.
When you trek near, listen carefully:
The trembling leaves are my longing passion.
But you pass; you pass carelessly, Leave,
Behind you, the tree that's shedding.
Dear, the shedding are not petals at all,
But my heart, my withered heart, crying.

---

no worry, no fear, like a summer lotus in full bloom.

BOOK-明朝那些事儿BY当年明月

A history book about Ming Dynasty-a dynasty i like the least.

i used to think that system and mentality of Ming dynasty actual ruined everything about this nation, the spirit of mandarin, of Confucian and Dao and every other Chinese being. i remember arguing about this dynasty with a classmate when were in school...

honestly, i didn't read any deep details about that dynasty, didn't want to, until today..my impression about the whole dynasty was it is full of murdering, blood, sadness, mis-judge, unfairness. it fully proved the downside of the Monarchy, no people can trust their government, no officers can trust their political system. no king trust anyone..and the saddest part is nothing can be done, nothing about it is good except its end.

these were just impressions in my young mind. what's the truth in that two hundred and fifty years?

this book is written by an internet writer, as always, no real name, only an ID.
It is a wonderful book, enlightening, fun, easy to read, and nothing shallow behind the easiness. most importantly, it is so well written that i cannot stop reading. it seems i finally have the opportunity to know more about that dynasty after all, might be my only opportunity.

Isaac Newton

wow...I only knew this great mind through the falling apple story. he was being absolutely underrated hugely. he is actually the one and the only human whose mind is close to God. and it makes you wonder why our textbook CHOSE to touch on his greatness so lightly..

he is definitely a controversial character and very complicated topic for the worldly society..

a short history of nearly everything by bill bryson

万物简史。very interesting science book...-might be the only science book i will ever read in my whole life.

很好读的科学著作。

最近热心公益

大概因为存不够钱买家具.

donated a small amount of money to this foundation...OVERSEAS SAVE CHINESE CHILDREN FOUNDATION.... don't know them very well..

i am still committed to education...

Hope Project

I am supporting a primary school student now.

Have being thinking about doing it for years. finally got around it.

the plan is to support one new student primary school each year, all the way to their college...as long as i have my job....

era of graphic

starting from 60's?...and now, there is no point of return.

好无聊啊

这个世界没有什么新东西可以萌得了吗？！

终于进入荒芜期吗？

anime - samurai champloo again

watched the last two episodes at Jacky Mimi's place. English voice actor.

next year there will be OVA movie of it. looking forward to it.

it is still awesome.

book-御座血

从尧幽禁舜野死，到东周列国一路黑暗权谋，至千年以下点点滴滴的历史血痕……我们有着人类文明最高级的姿态。无法欣喜，却独一无二。感触至深的却是贤丞义士承担黑暗的精魂气魄。

"大史书曰：“崔杼弑其君。”崔子杀之。其弟嗣书而死者，二人。其弟又书， 乃舍之。南史氏闻大史尽死，执简以往。闻既书矣，乃还。"

崔杼设计杀死齐庄公之后，太史在国家史书中写：崔杼弑其君。崔杼大怒，杀死了太史。太史的两个弟弟接着这样写，一并被杀。太史的又一个弟弟还是这样写，崔杼无奈，只好免其死。南史听说太史尽死的消息，“执简以往“。途中听说史官已经如实记录此事，才回去。

…………
…………
…………
史官是家族事业吗？

i am wondering

can i get a job in China???

i learned lots of useless things here..what can i do if i go back to China?

i want my freedom, then i can do something more.

i want to see clear my path, and make something happen on my own term...

i hate my life wave is always longer than the others, and the orbit of my planet is always larger than many others'. it's a waste, and what would it accomplish?

金星水瓶，月亮水瓶，太阳魔羯.

也许这就是喜欢仙流，写仙道顺手的原因？——自我特质的投射和认同。

“If you press me to say why I loved him, can say no more than it was because he was he and I was I.“

Devil's Trill 恶魔颤音

old post.
美丽这种感觉，说不定只是自我中心的产物。

肌肤震颤，内腑激荡，甚至瞳孔张大，下巴掉在地上，都只是个人所经历，也无法用语言文字传达的感受。别人也许完全感觉不到，也完全无法理解。

无论多么想要分享，最终也只是一个人的真实，独自的和解而已。

美丽的感觉，失望，等待，怨恨，真或者虚假……想要守护，想要得到，都是自我中心的东西，大概这样说的话，利己主义也没有什么问题吧，为了想要活这，只好这样了……

所以，同样的东西，完全不同的认知，是最适合这世界的旋涡，争论，不屑，或者战争也是产物罢了。

可是还是会生气，会觉得很恨。

（"那种感觉……不叫生气。悲哀，那叫做悲哀。"——铁之助是这样对山崎丞说的吧。）

--------------

[恶魔颤音]

我所听到的……

一切都是独自的。（不喜欢这里的钢琴伴奏，多余）反抗，挣扎与抗辩，鼓起了勇气却又瞬间消沉，散开又凝集的心愿，持守着美丽却又那么不甘愿，几度反复的想要挣脱却失去方向，还有恨意，更多的是天地无法存放的遗憾，憾恨，很多的憾恨，很多的不甘心，还有美丽，优雅高贵的美丽，随便的话就可以坚持的真实可触的美丽甘甜，却成为想要舍弃的，想要打破的，于是被撕开，敲打得到破裂的美丽不和谐，但是又很迟疑，心里很矛盾，心里的声音分成两个，跟自己挣扎和抗辩，似乎又是对世间的争辩，于是很忧伤，所谓的力量与勇气也只是剩下瞬间消亡的无力感，震颤，心弦都被敲碎一样，想要创造什么却成为虚空，还有那无法承当的被破碎掉的美丽，和无止境的无法道尽的巨大的，悲哀。

心中看到有两片巨大叶片的花蕾，放置在很大宇宙之间，含苞待放，犹如恶之花。

-----------

传说这首曲子是作曲家跟魔鬼交易，听到魔鬼拉奏，梦醒后记录下来的一些片段。
小时候就听说过这个故事，也看过那幅画，到现在才有缘一听。

叹。真的是非常非常美丽的曲子！

The lost symbol

Dan Brown's new book.

it is good, until it reaches the half way. he was trying to fix a broken logical mistake. instead of doing it slightly, ineffectively, he gave it a heavy touch..turn it into a principle mistake..

Solomon tells his son about the pyramid? that's wrong, fundamentally wrong. no way of return.

就作家而言，不怎么好；很多逻辑性错误；他自己意识到故事逻辑的问题的时候，他尝试着扭转回来，但是扭转补充的手法并不圆润自然，反而是，选择了很重很浓的方式来让故事接上线，结果，犯了更大的错误，导致了故事设定原则上产生了矛盾。为好莱坞打算的情节也太浓重，美国作者的通常问题。

就学者而言，的确是个知识深入，研究充分的学者。

非礼

可爱的非礼系列。

book-historian

finally read this book, briefly. it took me two years to go through this book. every time when i pick it up in bookstore, borrow it back from library, even bought it....in the end, i cannot read it. and i know why now. anything i don't like from the very beginning are the things i won't enjoy in the end no matter what. i am probably too extremely true to my feelings. and i don't like this book. it drags.

Archeology - book - Palace of the Gods

i read this one in college...all the contents were now found left behind in the back of my memory when i now re-read it..... sometimes, i wonder what's the point of reading things since i prefer not to remember the details. but i know clearly what happened in my brain...i ingored every details, but the essence of the concept left in my being. never remember. and yet never forget.

===

anyway, about this book. i couldn't find the writer, the name Richard Ellman doesn't seem right. gave up on searching.

===

让-弗朗索瓦·商博良-Jean-François Champollion
the French classical scholar, philologist and orientalist who deciphered the Egyptian hieroglyphs.

which is the book?

a true great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more in old age, as a fine building should be seen by morning light, at noon and by moonlight. -Robertson Davis


===

I notice I actually never really liked any fictions/stories. none. never favor fictions, maybe that's why i didn't understand feelings before.

The last book i read in college days was Souvenirs Entomologiques-昆虫记。the first one was DAO DE JING.

My Hero Never Dies

瞬世莲华

一波动，万劫相随。
青莲绿叶下，有风拍岸，有浪掀天。
即便是叶子青青，莲子清清，承风载露的莲瓣轻轻，三秋过后，也免不过随了风
残，末了霜减，调敝了一池恶水。

“三界无安，犹如火宅”。佛说。

~~~~~~~~~~~

somehow, this story became quite meaningful...

imperfectionist

imperfectionist..........is this word what i think it is? the opposite of Perfectionists? unfortunately..it is not a word in English.

Boston Legal 3

Now i got to know why so many lawyers are involved in politics in US. It seems like they are the center of this society's conscience. they are the people who are facing issues, and as well stand above the problems to overview, and think.

It is in fact an "elite politics" society...is it the spirit of democracy, i doubt it. but there is no doubt that it is Hierarchy. is it bad? i don't think so. if i have to root for anything...by all means, i will choose "elite politics" over "mass decision".

Boston Legal 2

I believe the difference and arguments between Democrats and Republican are definitely a good thing for this young country over time. it begins to form the foundation of their national philosophy, to urge the thinking, and to learn the heaviness and pain of being in human's history. no winner is needed; no one is more right than the other; none of the side should rule it all...will be a better situation for them.

the only way to grow is in pain.

Laozi-the ultimate mentor

社会之所以混乱，互相争夺，原因就在于人们欲望的过分，法令的繁多，知识的追求和讲究虚伪的仁义道德

The reason of chaos and conflicts in the society is too much desire from people, too many laws and regulations, too eager to test knowledge, and pay too much attention to the pursuit of hypocritical virtue and moral.

===

"When people see some things as beautiful,other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,other things become bad.

Being and non-being create each other. Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other. High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow each other.

Therefore the Master acts without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.

Things arise and she lets them come; things disappear and she lets them go.
She has but doesn't possess, acts but doesn't expect.

When her work is done, she forgets it. That is why it lasts forever." - Dao De Jing Chap 2